I suck, but my reality was blown.

Over the weekend we started out at our usual hangout JC. It's become like a second home to us for the past few times we have gone out. Our buddy A. opens a set, and then he brings me in. I chat up with a cute blonde about a surfing movie that's being projected on the wall behind us, and we vibe on that. Was there attraction, I don't know. I still don't know if I'll ever know. I step away for a second to get a drink or pee a drink, and from the corner of my eye I spot this guy talking to the set A. was in. I take a backseat and watch the interaction, after a few minutes, A. breaks away, and tells me that that guy is totally in the game as well. We ended up chatting with the guy, who also had a wing. One of them has a coat with fur, and the other one is dressed like a punk/rocker type guy. They definitely been in the game longer, and it shows. They can go right in and hook the girls, but wether they have closing game, we can't determine. All in all, it was a good eye opener. I don't know why I'm so lame I have to putz around and dilly dally about going to someone. 

We bounce to the Temple. There, I completely lost my nerve, or was out of the frame or any other reasons you can think of for not being 'in the mood'. My two buddies were doing the dance approach - coming in from behind and what not. From my wall-flower-ish perspective it didn't seem like that's how it should be done, but I couldn't think of anything better, so kudos for them, and I'm the little bitch that couldn't. Not one to talk right? We start talking about bouncing, and I'm just feeling like a loser for not having the balls tonight. I make a final desperate effort - I spot a group of 6 asian girls dancing together, and I go up to one, tap on the shoulder, and I go direct: "I think you're cute! are you single?" - she shoots me down with the bf answer. And that was that.  As we're walking to the exit, Scampi starts talking to a guy, and we stop, waiting for him. Right a few feet from us there's two gals dancing sexily, they had been doing this all night. One of them looks at me, and I take the cue to dance with her, but then she pulls back, and I ackwardly pull back as well, a bit disarmed. What I did next tho, was perhaps my little saving grace that I took from that place: I am standing in the middle of the not-crowded dance floor, the two gals are dancing, and I lean back, and I just stare, appreciatively. Give me a show, woman! It's a little victory, but, I didn't flinch, I didn't try to pretend I was looking anywhere else. I wasn't on the corner, staring. And the girl, at least in my perception, did dance for me, and put on a show. Now, I have no delusions that she didn't know what she was doing or that she danced with a ton of other guys before. But at least, this time, I wasn't the wall flower she never even noticed. Yes, it felt a bit powerful. 

We relocate to 1015. The crowd's really big time trance. Not much to report there, except for two things. The crowd was really out there, body paint, threads, etc. It's an e-tard heaven so not surprising. We walk around trying to find some good sets, and there's nothing much. Scampi opens a petite asian girl, who to be honest wasn't even all that, but she was all we could see opening. What follows is lame-ville: Scampi opens her, then I come in, then A. comes in, then we  all leave and then we keep coming back to her. My self evaluation of it: we were being try-hards. We're bouncing around the club again, and Scampi opens this 2-set. One is asian, the other one is black. While he's talking to the asian one, I entertain the black one, and we find out that they want to go out to drink (it was well past 2am and they had stopped serving drinks). So Scampi suggests we go to this Korean BBQ place in the sunset. We grab A. and we all head to the restaurant, which also served Soju.  (to be continued...)

Are you comfortable taking the lead?

Another day, another bar. Me and Scampi man are going out to a few bars in SF, and try to practice approach. I can't speak for Scampi, but I still haven't tackled AA without having some drinks before, during and after. 

I've been listening to a lot of the episodes of the Pickup Podcast. There's some awesome content there, but I don't know if it helps me much in my game. One of the concepts I am playing with as I go through this journey is the concept of being a leader of men. Now, Mystery Method (not to confuse with LoveSystems) used to have a bunch of bullet points that summarized the qualities that women would find attractive in a man, and being a leader was one of them. Are you confortable taking the lead in your social circle? are you ever the one setting up the party, or suggesting and initiating that you and your friends go to this task or another? Do they listen to you? I think this is a very good indicator of how strong your core inner game is. Do you think there is a correlation between how you lead your social circle and how you can lead the women you are interested in? can leadership  of women exist without leadership of people? 

Am I a leader of men? I remember when I was 12-14. Me and my brother would hang out with some other kids in the neighborhood. We were all going somewhere, and I suggested we go through this place; my brother suggested we go to that place. He didn't mean to amog me, but people decided his way was the better way. I can't say for sure how this may or may not have impacted my life, but I remember this event, 25 years later. I'm looking at that event in hindsight, so I might be projecting my emotions to that time, but I felt like, 'wow, I'm worth shit!'. 

How do you practice at becoming a leader of men? As a testament of my geekness, I refer to Star Trek. In one particular episode, Capt. Picard and doctor Crusher find themselves stranded on a planet, with some sort of magnetic cuffs that prevent them from being physically apart from each other for more than a few feet. One of the consequences is that they start being able to read each other's minds. At one point, Capt. Picard suggests to Dr. Crusher: "we should go this way!", to which the doctor goes, "you have no idea where we're going, do you? that way is just as random as any other way". Picard responds something along the lines that, "in times of stress, people look for guidance, and as a leader, it is my job to provide it, even when I might not know any better than them.".  So, as a general rule, try to be more assertive in your speech. Direct, instead of ask. Don't go "what do you guys think if we do this"; but rather, go "hey, let's do this". Now, this does not mean that you can be a dictator, after all, there is no leaders if you have no followers, and you could argue that the role of the leader is to give exactly what the followers want. Ever since I committed myself to this journey, I've felt more confident. And it's funny how confidence builds into itself. Prior to two months ago, I was not in the habit of initiating things for people to come, because frankly, I was afraid I didn't have enough 'pull' either because I wasn't interesting enough or cool enough for people to want to hang out with me. That's not to say that I'm super cool and people flock to me all the time, on the contrary, I still have next to zero pull as far as girls initiating chatting online with me, for instance (and these are 'friends' we're talking about...). One of my hobbies is running/hiking, and I've throw it out there if people were interested in going hiking to Half Dome, in Yosemite. So far I have a list of about 18 people that expressed interest in doing this. 

Now, if you have never organized or initiated something, you should know that one of the most important things about a social event is who is doing the asking, and who is attending it. In the case of this hike, it's a pretty tough adventure (about 16 miles, 13 hr hike) so most people are probably glad that someone's taking charge and is interested in doing it. At another level tho, everyone either told me straight up they were interested or not (due to lack of being in shape or conflict in schedules). None of them went, "oh, who's going?" I take that with some warmth in my heart that I wasn't being checked by them to see if there were 'cool people' coming or not. Then again, that might be more of a testament to the friends I asked (they're social types perhaps?) than myself. But that is a testament to my own choice of friends just as well. 

Commitment to be out there

Hey guys, Rio here. It's about 5.11pm on a friday night. Me and Scampi made plans to go out to the City and sarge. In the about two months we've known each other, we must have gone out to bars maybe 6-7 times. I'll have to fill in the backstory on some of those (non)adventures on a later post. I just wanted to have it on record that even though we're meeting all of 4 hours from now, I'm already suffering from some anxiety over the whole thing. Part of me does not want to do this, I've had a long day, I could enjoy myself on a friday night sitting at home watching another alpha-example movie(hah) and eating non healthy food. Tonight we're meeting this other guy who's on a similar path. I believe he's a bit ahead of the curve than us, so this is a good experience to learn from someone who may be using things you never knew you could. Even meeting this guy makes me a bit unconfortable. He's just a guy like us, but I've always been shy since I was a kid, and that fear of meeting strangers has never quite left. There's always that initial dynamic between two newly acquainted people that you have to dance around with and figure out which 'roles' you will play. Being good with women isn't something you do in a vacuum outside of normal social interactions. You definitely need to learn how to establish yourself amongst your male peers as well, and if you are well read enough, you already realize this. But, do you do it?...

Top Gun and alpha-ness

When was the last time you watched the movie 'Top Gun'? My taste in movies could be debatable, but I recently had the chance to watch this movie again. I was looking for a dose of brainless jolt of adrenaline on a lonely monday night, and I definitely got that. However, with the new mindset of pu, I definitely got more. Pay attention to the relationship between the Tom Cruise character and Kelly McGillis, and especially to the seduction scene when Cruise goes to McGillis' house. Always smiling, body language just awesome, and he leaves just as when we think he's going to go in for a kiss. Such a tease! - Rio

The birth of pickup chimps!

We're two asian dudes setting foot in the journey of a lifetime. We're going to try to change from pickup chimps to champs, and we'll be right here to record every misadventure we're going to get ourselves into. In the process, we hope to cover what has worked for us, and what has not, but ultimately, this is not a blog about techniques or products per se, because there are plenty of people out there that know much, much more than we do. No, this is the story of two asian guys, battling asian stereotypes, our own fears and inadequacies, in the ultimate quest of personal growth. This is the story that's going to prove that if *we* can do this, most likely so can you :)


Where are we at the time of the creation of this blog?

This is Rio here - If you read my complete profile, you'll learn that I've been single for about 2 months now. Until 1.5 months ago, I had *never* approached anyone, be a girl, guy, old lady, pet chihuaha or anything alive and that would talk back, in a bar, club, bookstore or meat market. Does that qualify for zero game status? I hope so. Now, I'm not a complete clueless dolt. I have a decent job (that allows me to spend unimaginable amounts of time online doing anything but), and even if I am left brained analytical, I would like to think I can also be socially intuitive. You have to be, I think the ability to learn is critical if any of us are to succeed in this challenge.